A Rage Filled Morning

I woke up this morning, ate my oatmeal and read Internet news while drinking my tea. I've already seen three things, scratch that- four things that have pissed me off this morning.
Thing One: Apparently Dora the Explorer is getting an update and will be shown in the fall a little more grown. The silhouette to the left is all the talking heads are releasing at the moment. For those of you without daughters or nieces, Dora the Explorer is a kid's show. Dora runs around with her pet monkey wearing some sneakers, a backpack, and a pair of khaki shorts going on adventures. If you look at the pic to the left you can see her hair grown out, shorts have been replaced with a short skirt, and she has new cute shoes- and that's just what we can interpret from the silhouette. Why the fuck do little girls' cartoon characters have to be made into little sex kittens? Why do women need to fit this perfect mold of big boobs, small waist, birthing hips, short skirts, makeup and long hair? For Christ's sakes you don't have to have long flowing hair to be feminine.
You don't have to wear makeup as a young girl to attract boys. In fact, as a young girl you don't have to attract young boys at all, b/c they're still retarded and you can find better things to do with your time. At an early age Disney was stuffing these fairy tale endings down our throats, never letting anyone in on how things were after the prince and pretty young maiden actually tied the knot. And God-forbid she not want to get married at all- *GASP*! Not get married and have children?! Good lord, what are women thinking?! This whole topic makes me want to rip someones face off. This is also why I refuse to take my children (when and if I have them) to Disney World.

Thing Two: This whole stupid Rihanna and Chris Brown thing. Obviously he beat her up and that is awful. The attention the media is paying to this is not right. Instead of using it as a platform to bring attention to domestic violence, they are spewing rumors to sell papers and get hits on their websites. Folks, women are beaten every day by men, and a few men by women. This is horrible, but of course not an issue for the media until some celebrities get into a fight. Wake up people! There is a whole bunch of horrible things that happen to people, especially women and children. Instead of paying for a copy of OK magazine headlining pics of Rihanna's bruised face, donate those couple of dollars to a cause that will help battered women and children.

Thing Three: An elderly couple in England traveled to Switzerland to commit assisted suicide together. They both had been fighting a losing battle with cancer. I fucking hate that there are people out there claiming to be pro-life that are of the opinion that this couple should have lived their last days in a hospice withering away in pain. I hope all those bastards get stomach cancer, have zero quality of life, and no one gives them help when they want to end things. If you want to end this crazy game called life because you have a terminal illness, then more power to you. Its your life and you can choose whatever you want to do with it.

Thing Four: Reviewers of the Watchmen movie seem to be annoyed by two things: 1) there was just way too much blue penis in the movie 2) his penis was huge and circumcised. Okay, I saw the movie last night and that penis was anything but huge and was far from having flashing lights with arrows pointing at it.
Americans are a bunch of fucking prudes that have serious issues with naked people, unless of course those naked people are beautiful busty women. The minute some penis shows up folk are appalled. What is it with that?! As a woman I'm offended that there isn't more penis in films, and I'm quite tired of all the naked women that have nothing to do with the story line. Out of principle I will attend a film that has full-frontal male nudity. Hollywood needs to give fair viewing treatment to both sex organs and stop freaking out if a naked person (especially one that is in no way about to have sex) is on screen. What is wrong with just being naked? Just because you're naked doesn't mean that the first thing you want to do is have sex or will be having sex. URGH! I can't handle the prudishness of all this. I'm with Judd Apatow on this one.