Visiting the Parents

I leave tomorrow to visit my family in VA for 8 days. During this time, I will at some point have to answer questions about my relationship with The Boyfriend who I've been dating for 2 years. My mother warned me almost two months ago that my father had been inquiring if my mother knew from me "what The Boyfriend's intentions were." My anxiety level is currently at Threatcon Charlie and I am all but vomiting in the nearest trashcan... and I'm not even on the plane yet.

Let me give you a little background information on my folks so you can understand my anxiety a little more. My mother is very boisterous and none-too-aware of the boundaries mothers and daughters should share. My father is the exact opposite and extremely into personal privacy. So you can understand my fear over my father feeling the need to start asking questions concerning my personal life. A naughty little part of me wants to reply in defiance to my father's inquiry with "Lots and lots of sex all over the house and sometimes on the front porch. Those are my intentions with The Boyfriend." Of course I will be too terrified to give any such smart alack reply over beer at my father's favorite pub, where I'm sure the partial Spanish Inquisition will take place. Now my mother who knows better than to ask relationship (and especially grandchildren) based questions, will most likely probe about marriage. And then she'll start wondering aloud why The Boyfriend never comes with me for a visit. I cannot tell her it is b/c he's terrified from the first meeting, so I'll have to pull the "we're too broke" line favored by graduate students the world over.

In reality I want to plea the 5th. I don't want to feel the stress of having to explain to anyone what I think The Boyfriend's intentions are or why I'm not engaged yet. It isn't anyone's business but mine and his, and I shouldn't have to explain my relationship to anyone. Frankly I'm tired of having to deal with answering questions from friends and family all alone. I honestly wish The Boyfriend's parents would ask him questions and make him sweat or his friends would wonder why he hadn't popped the question yet. It feels as though there are no social or family pressures for men my age to get married. But if a 25 yr old woman is without a ring on her finger, suddenly the eyebrows go up. WTF? No bun in the oven before 30? Well, what's wrong with you? I want to stand on a chair in the middle of the mall on campus and shout, "It isn't me!!!!! I'm wonderful!!!! And not having a ring on my finger has nothing to do with my worth!!! So fuck off with your questions and leave me alone!!!" Sighhhh...

If anyone can sympathise, has advice, or stories to share- please feel free to leave comments. :0)